The holiday formerly known as Dominion Day is when every hardcore Canuck finally sheds his long underwear, hops in his car, and plugs in a Tragically Hip mixed tape in to the deck ( the same Tragically Hip tape he carried on his around the world back packing trip, forcing it on unsuspecting Europeans), and heads down to the beach to play in a Sand Hockey tournament ( because in Canada we play Ice Hockey, Underwater Ice Hockey, Street Hockey, Floor Hockey, Sand Hockey and 3 Down Football).
Enroute we stop at the liquor store to grab a flat of whatever beer serves as the nationalistic rallying cry of the moment (but you can never go wrong with Molson Canadian, the choice of Bob and Doug Mackensie- icons of the golden era of Canadiana).
The sand hockey tournament features 9 teams from around the nation, but is momentarily interrupted while the Ottawa RoughRiders franchise goes bankrupt again. Fortunately there is a second team called the Rough Riders from Saskatchewan to make everything feel right.
After the tournament we pack into the car and go downtown Vancouver where we can smoke weed in a “Coffee Shop” until we are stupid, but we have to stand outside at least 3 meters aways from the door to smoke cigarettes, because that is illegal. After banging some smack at a safe injection site, we all climb Grouse mountain in our North Face gear and scream from the top of the mountain insecurely so all the world can hear, “We are not Americans. …We are Canadians”
Then we all head to the local Hospital for free prostate exams or mamograms
